Thursday, April 11, 2013

Celebuzz, celeb news, celeb boobs, celebs bikini,

Celebuzz, celeb news, celeb boobs, celebs bikini,


The Wolfpack Reunites For One Last Riotous Romp

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 12:42 PM PDT


There’s no wedding. There’s no bachelor party. So what could go awry for The Wolfpack? Turns out, everything.

The Hangover Part III sends Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), Allen (Zach Galifianakis) on one final debauched escapade as they hunt down Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong) reunite for one final romp.

In the new trailer for the trilogy’s final installment, the gang gets back together to help an off-his-medication Allen mourn the passing of his father. Following the funeral, they convince a weepy, whiny Allen to check into a facility called New Horizons.

But soon after they hit the road, their trip gets hijacked by some seemingly high-rolling thug (John Goodman) and that good ol’ drug-dealing Black Doug (Mike Epps). “Leslie Chow stole $21 million from me,” he fumes. “And I figure The Wolfpack has the best chance of finding him.”

After taking Doug (Justin Bartha) for “insurance,” the two men leave The Wolfpack in the dust, as the trouble-rousing trio are left to hunt the world high and low for Chow (Ken Jeong). But they get a tip-off when Allen unwittingly receives an email from the flamboyant gangster himself — “I thought it was Chow like ‘goodbye,’” Allen reasons. “You know, like, ciao, arrivederci, Papa John’s.”

Their search mission takes them south of the border to Tijuana, Mexico, where they find Chow, sporting a tribal-printed poncho and sombrero. "Same old, same old,” he tells The Wolfpack as they catch up. “Oh! I got into cock fighting." Allen’s face lights up: "Oh, cock fighting,” he muses. “That sounds wonderful.”

From there, the trailer escalates: Phil rappels down the side Caesars Palace, Allen drives — with beer in hand — a giraffe to its death when passing under a freeway overpass, and Chow goes base-jumping in Sin City as he shouts, “I love cocaine!”

The Hangover Part III — which also promises Melissa McCarthy as a check-out girl! — hits theaters on May 24.

Follow editor Cory Lopez (@corylevinelopez) on Twitter.

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Which Celebrity Would You Most Like To Have Dinner With?

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 12:21 PM PDT


Earlier today, we posed a simple question on Twitter:

The response we received was overwhelming and surprisingly diverse. From obvious favorites like The Kardashians to legendary actors Bette Davis and James Dean, our followers, apparently, want to have dinner with just about everyone!

Below you’ll find a few of our followers’ responses. It’s not too late to answer for yourselves, so please feel free to respond to the tweet or to leave a comment on this post with your answer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the great discussion, guys!

Be sure to follow Celebuzz on Twitter so that you can participate in our next Twitter chat.

 

The Blast In A Glass Unveils Her New Bikini Body

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 10:52 AM PDT


She’s ready for bikini season.

Following the footsteps of BFF Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, former Jersey Shore star Deena Cortese is turning her life around and working hard to stay in shape.

On Wednesday, the 26-year-old took to her Twitter to show off her new figure, posting several snapshots of herself clad in a variety of barely-there swimsuits.

“Almost Aruba ready! Couple more weeks to go! Couple more pounds to lose,” she wrote alongside one of the photos.

According to the self-proclaimed “Blast In A Glass,” she lost a whopping 15 pounds since her MTV show ended after late last year.

“I’ll be honest, I indulged — and I still indulge but I just have to watch what I eat,” she told Celebuzz about the weight-loss. “I try not to eat after a certain time. I just try to keep it steady.”

“That all I could do,” she added. “I struggle all the time with my weight because I’m short and curvy.”

Flip through the gallery above to see Deena’s new bikini bod.

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Snooki: Eat Your Heart Out, Haters

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 01:19 PM PDT


Revenge is a dish best served cold — and sunny side up, according to Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.

Following Star Magazine‘s report that the MTV star adheres to strict diet of “lettuce and egg whites” to lose weight, Snooki has posted a video on her Celebuzz blog calling out the publication for their outrageous story.

In the skit, the 25-year-old trashes the tabloid after a restaurant waiter serves her an egg — as opposed to her dinner of chicken and broccoli — because he heard that’s all she ate.

“That’s what I say to that,” Snooki quips after cracking the egg over the glossy mag in response.

According to Snooki, she lost 42 pounds after giving birth to son Lorenzo by working out and eating a healthy diet.

“You know, everyone is asking me how I lost all the weight…it's not a miracle pill you take and it's not doing anything crazy! You just go to the gym and work out,” she wrote on her website earlier this month.

“It's dedication and it's motivation!! I've been going to the gym seven days a week basically since Halloween and I've worked very hard to lose all the weight! I wanted to be a fit mom and be good for Lorenzo and for him to be healthy.”

Watch Snooki’s egg-cellent response to false tabloid stories in the video — above.

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Watch A Reporter Ask Jay Carney About Jay-Z’s ‘Open Letter’

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 12:25 PM PDT


Jay-Z’s trip to Cuba took a turn for the ridiculous on Thursday when a reporter asked White House Press Secretary Jay Carney for clarification on Jay-Z’s new song “Open Letter,” in which the rap mogul seemed to imply that President Barack Obama had personally cleared his getaway.

The reporter went so far as to recite the lyrics directly to Carney, then asked whether they were true.

To which Carney basically replied, “Lol, no, bye.”

Watch the video, above.

‘Mad Men’ As Muppets And Other Funny Things

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 12:25 PM PDT


Together we’ve lived through actresses without teeth, actors without teeth, and pop stars as Furbies. We now feel prepared to see the cast of Mad Men as Muppets. Will you take this journey with us?

Also in this edition of Celebrity Meme Roundup: hot hairstyles for Justin Bieber and a comic that perfectly chronicles Taylor Swift‘s artistic process and likely future.

As always, once you've perused our entire collection below, please share your own favorite memes! You can use the “Add Photo” button toward the bottom of this post, or you can use the hashtag #CelebuzzMemes on Twitter or Instagram to send it to us.

Onto the funnies!

Via Flavorwire, here is the cast of Mad Men as Muppets:

See everything that’s wrong with Les Misérables in six minutes:

In response to Justin Bieber‘s “back to bangs” new hairstyle, BuzzFeed offers up some options for Biebs’ next ‘do:

Taylor Swift‘s life summed up in one comic:

Game of Thrones vs. Updog:

Every romantic movie ever made:

Speaking of clichés, have you noticed how all movie posters look the same?

Lastly, here are a couple of odds and ends to take us out:

Oh, twirling Lana, I will never tire of you…

And with that, we end this week’s Celebrity Meme Roundup. But it doesn’t really have to end here. Send us your favorite memes and macros by using the widget below:

You can also tweet or Instagram it to us using the hashtag #CelebuzzMemes.

See you next week!

Coach Threw A Party And Everyone Was There

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 11:07 AM PDT

Coach's 3rd Annual Charity Event to Benefit the Children's Defense Fund

These Boots Were Made For Fighting, Apparently

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 11:19 AM PDT


As the world cautiously awaits to see whether North Korea follows through with its planned missile tests, check out this revealing look into life on the frontline for the female members of the Korean People’s Army. Yep, they’re wearing heels.

Women reportedly make up over 10 percent of the People’s Army, according to an article from The Daily Mail. At this point, though, who the heck knows what’s going on over there?

See the photo above — and see if you can find one of those “Keep Calm And Carry On” photos for me in the meantime.

 

 

Hey, Nicki! Call Me…Maybe

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 09:28 AM PDT


Cher Lloyd needs a little alone time.

The U.K. starlet – who got toes tapping in the States with last year's "Want U Back" – is currently prepping her sophomore album, but she’s not exactly calling in the big guns for help.

"I want to do my thing for a little bit," she told Celebuzz at Wednesday's Fruttare event in NYC, where she helped launch the fruit bar's official U.S. debut. "I want to feel like I don't have to have someone there to help me push a single or push my album."

"On my last album, which was my debut, I worked with a lot of people – but now I feel like this is my album, and I want to do me."

Unless, of course, a certain someone calls her…maybe.

"That's not to say if Nicki Minaj comes forward I won't say no," she added with a laugh.

 

Cher's clearly not adverse to high-profile playdates: next up for the former U.K. X-Factor contestant is – well, yeah – a duet with a really big pop star. Her partner in crime? None other than Ne-Yo, and their collaboration is bound to be sweet: it's a song for Fruttare, and fans are being asked to help inspire its lyrics via Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. (Click here for more info.)

He was even on hand at the Fruttare launch, along with some really good popsicles. (And we’re not just saying that because we hope the Fruttare people will send us a box. Or two.)

What else has Cher been up to? Not watching American Idol like the rest of us, for one: the 19-year-old says she's been too busy to tune in and see Randy, Mariah, Keith and that lady she just might want to work with critique a crop of singers who are starting out just like she did.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't have some advice for Candice, Angie, Amber, Kree and Janelle. Oh, and Laz too.

"It's not the position you make in the competition – it's what you take out of it," she said. "I tend to see many contestants get to sixth place, fifth place, and they start to crumble because they feel like they didn't win so they're not good enough to go forward.

"But I finished fourth, and the next day I asked will.i.am if I could go into the studio with him. And that was just me asking him. It's not about what everyone else does for you – it's what you do for yourself.

So take note, Idol kids: Get Mariah's digits and call her. Maybe.

For our full interview with Cher, watch the video above. Then tell us: Do you think Cher and Nicki would make a magical match? And when it comes to American Idol, who do you think will be crowned this year's champ? Put on your judge's hat and head to the comments section.

This Is How Joe Jonas Wins Over The Ladies

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 11:24 AM PDT


Move over Kate UptonJoe Jonas is now the king of corny celeb date responses.

Pepperdine University student Shaina Kohli got more than she bargained for after she posted a video earlier this month asking the Jonas Brothers singer to attend a dance with her in Malibu, Calif.

The TODAY Show took-up the invite and the popular performer put together his very own response in the form of a hilarious, heartfelt (and homemade) video, complete with wine and a crackling fire.

Now we know why the ladies love them some Jonas!

Jonas turns up the (cheesy) charm by trimming his eyebrows, pumping iron at the gym, and taking in the sweet tunes of a serenading saxophone. And he’s shirtless, to boot.

In the video, he explains he can’t attend the formal. But because he’s not a heart-breaker, he invited her as a special guest to his concert in July.

Back on TODAY‘s Rockefeller Plaza, Shaina gladly accepted, but not before she got a surprise.

Check out the guy in disguise in the video below and Jonas’ over-the-top charm in the video above.

Tell us what you think of Joe Jonas’ hilarious spoof video — leave your comments below.

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Help Us Wish Kourtney Kardashian A Happy Birthday!

Posted: 10 Apr 2013 01:03 PM PDT


Kourtney Kardashian will turn 34 on Thursday, April 18, and Celebuzz wants to wish her the absolute happiest of birthdays.

But we need your help to do it!

Use the form below to send us your birthday message for Kourtney. You can type your message and/or upload an image — a handmade birthday card, a piece of fan art, etc.

Next week, we will create a special post including some of your submissions. We will then send that post to Kourtney, so now’s your chance to let her know how much you love her!

Submit your message for Kourtney here:

Return next week, on April 18, to see the post that we will create with your messages!

Molly Shannon Reveals The Story Behind Jeannie Darcy

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 09:54 AM PDT


One of the great joys of watching Saturday Night Live is getting the chance to witness those rare 11th-hour sketches — the kind that are so bizarre and subversive, a few years need to pass before anyone can stop and say, “Hey, that was kind of awesome.”

For me, that sketch was always Jeannie Darcy, Molly Shannon’s painfully unaware stand-up comedian whose jokes about her relationships had the ability to kill (quite literally, in the case of her trip to St. Joseph’s Hospital in 2001).

Darcy made only three appearances on SNL, a number that pales in comparison to Shannon’s most-popular character, Mary Katherine Gallagher. Even so, Darcy became a benchmark among die-hard Shannon fans; an opportunity to showcase her ability to be both hilarious and downright weird.

Looking back on the character nearly 13 years after it debuted, Shannon tells Celebuzz she created it based on a combination of people and experiences.

“My father-in-law doesn’t know this, but it’s a little based on him and then a little made up of somebody in the spectrum of Asperger’s who tries to get into comedy,” she said with a laugh. “And then also somebody who’s completely out of touch with her own sexuality, which is an area that was of interest to me. Clearly, she’s gay, but she’s still doing straight comedy.”

“I liked that she’s terrible at comedy,” she continued. “I think that came from an idea when I was first struggling in Los Angeles. I was amazed at the people who would just stay in town and keep trying and working on their acts, even when there were no breaks coming. I loved that the character lived somewhere in the heart of the northern part of the San Fernando Valley and she’s like, ‘Well, I’m working on my jokes.’ She’s just somebody who should not be in comedy at all, but she has a lot of hope and she’ just working on her act and she stays hopeful.”

Paula Pell, who is amazing and produced This Is 40 and also rewrote a lot of stuff on Bridesmaids, she was the girl who would write lots of jokes with me and we would just die laughing.”

Shannon left SNL in February 2001, and went on to star in and produce a number of projects. Most recently, she appeared on the TV comedy Enlightened, which HBO canceled in March after just two seasons.

“I actually really feel like they made a mistake,” she said of HBO’s decision to pull the plug on the critically acclaimed — but low-rated — series. “I loved the show. [Creator] Mike White’s a really good friend of mine.”

“I just felt like the show really gained traction this season,” she continued. “I really felt like we could have used another season to explore those characters. I thought the characters were so good. I loved the world. I love Laura Dern, and Diane Ladd, and Luke Wilson and Dermot Mulroney and Mike White — just the whole world of Abbadon and then the downstairs world. To me, it’s one of my favorite acting jobs I’ve ever done.”

Whether Shannon will return to TV full-time remains to be seen; she says she’s become pickier now that she has two children.

For now, she’s keeping her focus on a new campaign for Excedrin, which has Facebook users vote to determine who deserves the headache-relief medicine the most.

“I don’t think headaches are funny or something to laugh at,” Shannon said. “But sometimes when I think about situations that might be headache-inducing, I would definitely have a sense of humor about it. For me, it would bet dying to get my kids in the car in the morning. Like, ‘Come on! Get your shoes on! Get in the car!’ I’m like a drill sergeant. [Laughs]”

“If you go to the Excedrin Facebook page, you can go and vote on who deserves Excedrin the most, and there’s a chance to give away all these prizes,” she continued.

“Also, they made sixteen funny videos about various headache-inducing scenarios. There is one really cute one about a little girl with her mom, and every 10 seconds she asks her mom, “Why?” I just thought it was really funny, because I actually saw a little kid at the airport who did the same thing to her mom, and the mom was like, “I don’t know!” The mom got so impatient. It was very funny.”

To get more on Excedrin’s “Who Deserves Excedrin The Most?” campaign, visit its official Facebook page.

Whitney Port’s Suitcase Style Files

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 09:03 AM PDT


Whitney Port has a special message for fans about this summer’s music scene, which she’s asked us to pass on to you fine people:

Hi guys,
Summer music festival season is finally upon us, so I thought it would be fun to put together a little style guide on how to pack for this year's festivals. Watch the video above for style tips and my 5 fashion must-haves. What's on your festival packing list?

xoxo, Whit

 

Your Daily #CaptionContest Winners Are…

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 08:05 AM PDT


We love Jennifer Lawrence when she’s looking flawless, and, honestly, we love her just as much when she’s rocking an awkard neck brace. We love her always. And forever. But not in a creepy way.

We also love the captions you submitted to this photo on our Facebook page, and we now wish to share a few of our favorites with the world:

“What did the girl with no neck use for shampoo? ……HEAD AND SHOULDERS!!!!!” ha ha ha ” – Alexis

“This is what happens when you try to figure out Justin Biebers new Hair cut !!!” - Susanne

“70′s turtle neck” – Cheryl

“lol.. she looks like the crazy amanda bynes” – Bing

“Insurance fraud.” – Roxanne

Nice work! Visit our Facebook page for a new #CaptionContest challenge.

Gwyneth Paltrow Balks At Botox: ‘I Looked Like Joan Rivers!’

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 08:41 AM PDT

Gwyneth Paltrow covers 'Bazaar'

Déjà vu — Gwyneth Paltrow is dissing botox in Harper’s Bazaar.

But this time around, the Academy Award-winning actress is spilling the real reason why she shuns the wrinkle-banishing beauty treatment: for fear of turning into one of Hollywood’s most famous frozen faces.

“I won’t do Botox again,” Paltrow, 40, says in the May issue of Harper’s, “because I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!”

When it comes to looking her best, the healthy-living maven is all about mixing treatments from both ends of the beauty business spectrum — from the all-natural to the advanced technologies.

"I use organic products, but I get lasers. It's what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu,” she explains. “I really used to be bad with products, but now I exfoliate every night and use a lot of organic oils on my face…. [And] I have a great dermatologist in L.A. who gave me this amazing laser the last time I was there…. I feel like it took five years off my face.”

In truth, Paltrow says, even plastic surgery isn’t off the table for her. "I've probably tried everything. I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I’m 50,” she confesses. “I’ll try anything.”

But the mother of two — to daughter Apple, 8, and son Moses, 6 — has many other major decisions to make before she hits a half century, both professional and privately. "I'm at quite a pivotal point: Do I want to go back more into films? Do I want another child? Do I want to move back to the States?” she wonders. “You can call me a lot of things, but you can't call me complacent!"

“There are some films that I want to do, and I love my business and I want to expand that a lot,” says Paltrow, who branched out from her acting career to author healthy cooking books, found lifestyle website goop.com, and even invest in the growing empire of fitness guru Tracy Anderson. “We’ll sort of see.”

Between her business ventures and on-screen career, could she find time to expand her brood with husband Chris Martin? “I mean, if I want to have another kid, I gotta kind of get on it,” she says. “I don’t know. It’s a very big decision, so we’ll see. Anyway, I’m not doing it this month!”

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Zac Efron And His Delicious Physique Film ‘Townies’

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 01:19 PM PDT


Ah, good morrow Zac Efron.  Lovely to see you and those arms enjoying the California sunshine.

Efron shot Townies this morning in Los Angeles, CA alongside Seth Rogan and Christopher Mintz-Plasse.  The film, also starring Rose Byrne, Ike Barinholtz (The Mindy Project) and Dave Franco, is a comedy centered around a frat boy who’s poor behavior affects a local neighbor’s family life.

Efron will present at this Sunday’s MTV Movie Awards, hosted by Rebel Wilson.

 

What’s All The Fuss About #UshersLeg?

Posted: 10 Apr 2013 10:01 PM PDT


This week struck an interesting trending chord in the Twitter-sphere as an unusual hash tag made its way to the top.

While record-breaking music artist and The Voice Season 4 coach Usher is no stranger to the spotlight, it’s actually one of his body parts that’s made headlines rather than his body of work.

As one of the new judges on the hit NBC singing competition, his fame and out of this world talent have been put to good use so far as the final blind auditions came to an end. But, surprisingly, what has captivated America most aren't his smoldering good looks, swooning smile or dynamic dance moves.

It’s his leather-clad leg that’s stealing the show!

Trending worldwide Tuesday #UshersLeg made its big debut on social media after The Voice's Twitter page decided to "play a game.” It didn't take long before hundreds of fans took over and submitted their own versions of the kicked-back, relaxed pose with that draped arm that drips with cool.

So what more came out of this trending phenomenon?

Well, for starters the @UshersLeg Twitter page was created, and the hilarious parody account may only have three tweets, but well over 450 followers and counting.

 

 

From pets to kids and even 90-year-old grandmothers, Celebuzz gathered the best photo versions of #UshersLeg that came out of Tuesday’s fan frenzy over Usher’s now infamous appendage.

We have a feeling #UshersLeg might be staying around for a while as the singing competition starts to heat up.

And as the saying goes — "if you can't beat them, join them."

So I couldn't help but jump in on all the fun and take a stab at perfecting that Usher swagger.

Which do you think is my better #UsherLeg pose?

Sweet?

 

 

 Or with some attitude?

 

And now that the season is in full swing, I’ll be watching out for Usher’s new moves.

In the meantime, you can catch ‘the leg’ and the rest of Usher in action, along with Adam, Blake and Shakira on The Voice as the battle rounds begin April 15 on NBC.

Even  Shakira gets in one the Usher leg craze! Watch below and tell us if this is just too much or you can’t get enough!

‘Catching Fire’ First Look: Katniss Keeps Her Promise

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 01:20 PM PDT

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Katniss Everdeen is a woman of her word.

In the newest first-look still from the hotly-anticipated The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Jennifer Lawrence‘s heroine returns home to embrace her younger sister, Primrose Everdeen (Willow Shields), after making good on her promise to survive ever-deadly gladiatorial Hunger Games.

The forthcoming Francis Lawrence-helmed sequel to the box office record-setting blockbuster Hunger Games — a Lionsgate production based on the Suzanne Collins best-selling young adult book trilogy — will show Katniss and fellow District 12 winner, Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson), travel through Panem on their victory tour, trying to carry on their star-crossed lovers storyline under the suspicions of President Snow (Donald Sutherland).

But unfortunately for little sister Prim, Katniss isn’t on safe and sound at home for long. The District 12 victors are soon called back into the bloody arena by Snow, where they will compete amongst fellow former Hunger Game champions in a bid to survive the 75th annual gladiatorial games, known as the Quarter Quell.

Though the film is now in post-production, fans still have many months to wait for Catching Fire: the film will hit theaters Nov. 22, 2013. But in the meantime, Lionsgate is keeping fanatics biting at the bit with its perfectly-planned promotional campaign, which has already treated Hunger Games groupies to character portraits, posters, and on-set stills.

And come Sunday, the Girl on Fire will return to the screen. The first-ever teaser trailer for Catching Fire will debut at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards, a 10-second sneak peek of which lit up the web just over a week ago. So tune into the awards show Sunday at 9 p.m. ET for a glimpse of Katniss and Peeta stepping out before the world of Panem as winners.

Here’s a little GIF, courtesy of MTV, to hold you over till then:

What are you hoping to see in the teaser trailer for Catching Fire? Share your excitement in the comments section.

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You Totally Saw This Coming: Pippa Middleton Gets Properly Spoofed

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 06:46 AM PDT


After Pippa Middleton released her widely-panned party book, Celebrate, both the high-brows and the hoi polloi had a field day with her tips, which included “a turkey at Christmas time is good for large gatherings" and “ice goes great with drinks.

Back when the book debuted in October, one brilliant mind created a twitter account parodying the royal in-law’s tips.  Come June 6th, that anonymous user will release their own book, this time steering the well-heeled towards a successful pregnancy.  Aptly titled What To Expect When One Is Expecting: A Posh Person’s Guide To Pregnancy And Parenting, the how-to states some of the most obvious and delightfully obnoxious pieces of advice for those Sloane Rangers and royals who find themselves with child.

“Getting published is one of the best ways for people to be able to buy the book that you have written,” the author told Britain’s Look Magazine.  ”It came to my attention that we were in the middle of a baby boom, so what better time for me to write a complete guide to pregnancy, babies and parenting? Though families have struggled through in the past without my help, with my new guide having a baby in your life has never been easier or more enjoyable!”

Some key points to take away from the book:

“At one week, your baby is the size of a speck of chestnut flour. At this stage, it's best to avoid letting people know you're pregnant. You can do this by not mentioning it. Handy excuses to explain why you're not drinking Bollinger or eating sashimi: 'This shellfish isn't sustainably sourced' 'I prefer PETA-approved foie gras' 'Thank you, no, I'm eating at the palace later' 'I'm hungover.’”

“Morning sickness is best avoided by sleeping until the afternoon.”

“During pregnancy you need more iron, so ensure your housekeeper is on hand to rid your silk garments of creases.”

Follow @Pippatips on Twitter.

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Jay-Z Raps About That Little Trip To Cuba

Posted: 11 Apr 2013 01:19 PM PDT

Beyonce Knowles, Jay-Z

Jay-Z on Thursday released a new track called “Open Letter,” in which he addresses his and Beyonce’s now-controversial trip to Cuba.

“They wanna give me jail time and a fine — Fine, let me commit a real crime,” the 43-year-old raps, referencing Conservative politician’s recent efforts to investigate the trip. “Obama said, ‘Chill you’re going to get me impeached’ / You don’t need this sh-t anyway, chill with me on the beach.”

Also in the track, Jay-Z mentions his decision to sell his share in the Brooklyn Nets. (He’s doing it to become a player agent, for whatever reason, ugh.)

“I woulda moved the Nets to Brooklyn for free,” he wraps. Except I made millions off you f–king dweebs / I still own the building, I’m still keeping my seats /You buy that bullsh-t, you better keep your receipts.”

The US Treasury Department confirmed on Tuesday that Jay-Z and Beyonce’s trip to Cuba was approved.

“It is our understanding that the travelers in question traveled to Cuba pursuant to an educational exchange trip organized by a group authorized by (the Treasury Department's Office of Foreign Assets Control) to sponsor and organize programs to promote people-to-people contact in Cuba,” Alastair M. Fitzpayne, Treasury's assistant secretary for legislative affairs, wrote in a letter.

US citizens are not permitted to travel to Cuba as tourists.

You can listen to the full track, above.

Whatever your opinion on it is, at least be thankful that this latest I-am-gonna-sing-about-how-I-hate-the-media track didn’t turn out like this, because, well, yeah.

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